VIRGIN CHEESE SANDWICH PREGNANT

Mother of Jesus Returns as High Calorie Junk Food

Crowds of Faithful Flock to Kneel before Half-Eaten Immaculate Snack

Virgin Lunch Gives Birth to Cheezit Crisp

Second Coming with Cole Slaw

Communion with Cheese Wafers and Coke Planned

Faithful Come Bearing Pickles and Potato Chips

"Unmarried Cheese Sandwich Really Virgin?" asks Short-Order Cook Named Joe

Just One Bite Takes Decades Off Purgatory

Wise Men Enter Diner, Ask for Fast Food

Immaculate Concept, only One Bite Missing, nets $28,000

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